Rom-Coms
Ranking All the Couples in ‘Valentine’s Day’ In Honor of the Movie’s 15th Anniversary
Following the raging success of Love Actually, a bunch of romantic comedies with an ensemble cast were released to catch some of that hype, including Valentine’s Day. Released on February 12, 2010 and directed by the beloved Garry Marshall, this film unfolds over a single day in Los Angeles, weaving together multiple love stories.
Despite mixed reviews, it was a box office hit, boasting a star-studded cast featuring Anne Hathaway, Patrick Dempsey, and Julia Roberts. Not to mention that it was Taylor Swift’s acting debut! She appeared alongside her then-boyfriend Taylor Lautner.
So, to celebrate 15 years of this fun film, let’s rank all of the couples in Valentine’s Day.
11. Julia Fitzpatrick and Dr. Harrison Copeland (plus his wife Pamela)
Someone call Meredith, as McDreamy is out of control! Now a cardiothoracic surgeon, Harrison (Dempsey) has no regard for anyone’s heart as he guiltlessly juggles a girlfriend (perhaps more than one) and his wife. He literally has a condo in the city, supposedly for sleeping at, but we all know the truth. Julia (Jennifer Garner) discovers Harrison’s infidelity as he mistakenly orders flowers for both his wife, Pamela (Katherine LaNasa), and girlfriend at the florist owned by her bestie. She then doesn’t believe her bestie when he tries to tell her until he goes to the hospital to ask the staff herself. But in a very Reputation-era move, she goes to the restaurant where he’s dining with his wife and describes in detail the pain she’d inflict on his testicles—kind of iconic? Julia is delulu but deserves better, and Harrison will probably be moving to the doghouse (AKA the condo) really soon.
10. Reed Bennett and Morley Clarkson
They might just be the most uninteresting couple in the whole film, and what we really want to know is how they got this far together. Reed (Ashton Kutcher) proposes to Morley (Jessica Alba) on Valentine’s Day—despite the logic that a florist would probably be up during the night for such a big day, but alright. She accepts, but none of his friends believe it—red flag alert! Later, he comes home to drop off flowers for her and finds her with packed bags. The dog also chooses to leave with her—the true heartbreak of this storyline. These two are just quite deflated. It’s not just a matter of Morley not wanting to get married (she seems to think her parent’s divorce is hereditary) but that she is quite uninterested in him as a whole. She ends up in a hotel room for one, and he ends up going after his best friend.
9. Kate Hazeltine and Holden Wilson
These two aren’t a couple, we’re well aware of that. But given that we spend the majority of the film thinking that they’re having a meet-cute on a plane, and they serve more chemistry than other couples on this list, we’ll include them. Consider Kate (Roberts) and Holden Wilson (Bradley Cooper) as a friendship couple, if you must. Within hours of meeting, she’s asleep on his shoulder and drooling, so that’s basically a third date, in our opinion. They play backgammon, eat pretzels, and comfortably tease one another. At the airport, Holden gives Kate his car so she can beat the taxi shortage and be with the person she flew 14 hours to spend one night with before she flies 14 hours back—clearly, Kate isn’t concerned with her carbon footprint. He thinks it is to her lover, but it’s actually to see her cute son! A selfless gesture on Holden’s part, as he then has to struggle to get to his own destination, but more on that to come…
8. Liz Curran and Jason Morris
Liz (Hathaway) and Jason (Topher Grace) have been dating for two weeks when Valentine’s Day hits, which is always such an awkward moment so early into a relationship. You always hope birthdays, family weddings, and this heart-stuffed day will fall when you’ve defined the relationship and know the kind of budget expected. Nevertheless, they try to make a nice day out of it. The big hitch in their fresh relationship is Jason discovering Liz that moonlights as a phone sex operator. This would no doubt be a shock, especially if you’re from Indiana (kidding). It’s valid that he needs a moment, but what isn’t okay is his reaction to her asking him to call, “I don’t know if I can afford it.” In that moment, even Jason knows he has gone too far. He basically says she is “too much” for him and uses the cliched “it’s me, not you.” He ends up following Estelle’s wisdom (see below), and Liz takes him back, but we aren’t ready to forgive and forget just yet.
7. Reed Bennett and Julia Fitzpatrick
Now, this is the moment we’ll lose a few of you, but bear with us, please. Reed (Kutcher) and Julia (Garner) spend almost the entire film as friends. Reed tries to help her avoid making a mistake with her married boyfriend, and Julia holds back her opinions of Reed’s engagement. Somewhere along the way, it is suggested to both of them that they could be more than friends, and they just go with it. On the day she finds out her boyfriend is married, and the day he got engaged and subsequently dumped, Julia and Reed kiss. Their first kiss is so awkward, admitted by both of them, and they then try again. But the timing is just so off. Cinematically, they need it to occur on Valentine’s Day, but realistically, talk about a rebound relationship! They also lack all chemistry, as if the actors themselves don’t believe their characters should be together. Nevertheless, they seem to have each other’s best interests at heart and know each other well, so it could be worse.
6. Kara Monahan and Kelvin Moore
Nothing brings people together better than hatred. Often, it’s hatred of a person. In this case, it’s hatred of a day: Valentine’s Day. These two unromantics are unintentionally romantic together, and it’s actually really wholesome to watch. Kelvin (Jamie Foxx) asks Kara (Jessica Biel) out after seeing her almost enter a sugar coma, splayed out on the floor and surrounded by half-chewed candy. It’s only uphill from there, right? They work in complementary industries, they have a similar sense of humor, and they go out of their way to see each other again— we have high hopes for them!
5. Edison and Rani
Who can resist children thinking they’re in love? It’s just too cute. This little duo would’ve been higher on the list if Edison (Bryce Robinson) hadn’t first gone for his teacher and given Rani (Megan Suri) hand-me-down flowers (which were already a hand-me-down when Edison got them from Reed the Florist). But they’re the same age, they have a shared interest in soccer, and they seem like the start of a friends-to-lovers storyline. We’re in favor of this healthy, non-toxic couple. Also, we simply must mention that Megan Suri might have a familiar face, as she went on to play Aneesa in Never Have I Ever!
4. Willy Harrington and Felicia Miller
Oh, the Taylors! It feels like these characters were forced into the film last minute to accommodate these two celebs wanting to participate or that they had a bunch of scenes cut. What really happened with Willy (Lautner) and Felicia (Swift)? We’re not sure what they intended to prove: that teenagers can be in love without fornicating? That the Taylors can act? They were an easy chuckle in the film and basically played themselves—although Lautner would never be uncomfortable taking his shirt off in public. The fact that they kiss passionately to a Swift song (“Today Was a Fairytale,” not Taylor’s Version yet) further proves this weird meta-universe. I have no doubt that Felicia is supposed to walk into her apartment, pick up her guitar, and write that very song. They’re faithful to one another, madly in love, and supportive of each other’s athletic endeavors, what’s to hate?
3.
Let’s talk about Grace (Emma Roberts) and Alex (Carter Jenkins). So their entire plot is about the fact that they’re trying to lose their virginities to each other. Ah, the hormone-infused horniness of adolescence, a beautiful time. Their attempt to have sex is foiled when Grace’s mom walks in on Alex naked with a guitar—please note that a guitar should never be involved in sex. In the end, they decide to wait for sex and makeout instead. They’re the perfect mix of romance and realism, as losing your virginity can involve awkward planning and loving the idea more than the reality. They’re both hard-working high school students (one as a nanny, the other as a delivery driver), and we’re happy that they’re happy. However, we wouldn’t mind confirming that they plan to use protection.
2. Sean Jackson and Holden Wilson
This might be a controversial choice since they only share one scene together, but it was a great scene. This high ranking is also based on all of their separate scenes and how they act and refer to one another. Sean (Eric Dane) is grappling with the potential end of his football career and decides to hold a press conference. Inspired by crashing into a flower delivery van, he decides to admit to the world that he is gay. Holden (Cooper) sees this footage and rushes to his home, where he wakes him up with a flower to the cheek and grins at him, their love reignited now that the lies are over. It’s kind of like a modern, queer football take on Sleeping Beauty, if you think about it. Also McDreamy and McSteamy in the same film without a scene together? A crime in our books.
1. Edgar and Estelle Paddington
When we started this list, we thought it was going to be a matter of battling between all of the swoonworthy, romantic couples in Valentine’s Day. Instead, it turned out to be a dogfight of terrible, toxic partners against more terrible, toxic partners. But the silver lining is this elderly couple. Edgar (Héctor Elizondo, AKA Joe in The Princess Diaries) and Estelle (Shirley MacLaine) have been together since they were young and are planning to renew their vows in the spring. But trouble arises when Edgar mentions to their high school nanny how they have only ever been sexually intimate with one another—why he felt it was appropriate to tell a teenager this, we’ll never know. Estelle is unable to go along with the lie any longer and admits to Edgar that she had a brief affair with his business partner—gasp. Edgar grapples with this, but Estelle comes to find him at the cemetery film screening (don’t get us started) and tells him, “When you love someone, you love all of them… you gotta love everything about them, not just the good things but the bad things too. The things that you find lovable and the things you don’t.” They reconcile and remain the only healthy couple in this film.
