Space Romance
‘Battlestar Galactica’ Couples, Ranked From Worst to Best
Battlestar Galactica might not be the first show that comes to mind when you’re thinking about love and relationships. But, as any fan of the show will tell you: This trippy, post-apocalyptic space drama was all about the romance — sometimes to horrific consequences (I’m looking at you, Gaius Baltar).
The show serves as a fair warning: If you’re at war with robots who look like humans, be extra careful who you choose to entangle yourself with romantically! One bad decision might just mean the end of the world.
And with that, I will attempt to separate the worst couples from the best couples in this beloved sci-fi series that may have invented the concept of “binge-watching” television.
6. Chief Tyrol and Cally
You have to be pretty bad to outrank Gaius Baltar and Caprica Six, who instigated the annihilation of almost the entire human race. But I truly believe these two are worse — at least in terms of couples. If you don’t believe me, revisit the episode in Season 4 when Chief (Aaron Douglas) goes on a drunken rant about how he couldn’t stand his dead wife’s smell and her “vacant eyes.” All these two ever did was fight, and that was before Chief found out that their baby wasn’t actually his. Also, Cally (Niki Clyne) is probably one of the least likable characters on this show. No matter who she paired up with, she’d end up on this list.
5. Colonel Tigh and Ellen Tigh
If you are an adult human, you have probably met — or been — this sort of couple at least once in your life. The kind that can’t seem to live without constant drama. That was Tigh (Michael Hogan) and Ellen (Kate Vernon) — well, mostly Ellen. She was always either drunk or hitting on other men (or both), so one can hardly blame Tigh (who was also constantly drunk) — but then again, he did marry her. In more than one lifetime! These two were awful together, and everyone around them knew it.
4. Gaius Baltar and EVERY WOMAN HE DATES
Gaius (James Callis) has so many dalliances and relationships throughout the series, with robot and human alike, that I won’t even try to pick the worst one. The man just cannot keep it in his pants. He is so bad at self-control, in fact, that his fling with “Caprica” Six destroys nearly all of human civilization, since he allows her access to the defense mainframe he has built to protect the colonies from Cylons. Sure, he didn’t know she was a Cylon. But seriously, maybe don’t let anyone look at that?
One of the more entertaining (or annoying, depending on your take) aspects of the show is Gaius’ relationship with the imaginary Head Six — some kind of ghost or angel or aspect of his subconscious — following the destruction of the colonies. Even when he meets up with “Caprica” Six again later on in the series, he continues to talk to the one in his head for reasons unknown. This causes most of the fleet, who often witness him talking to “himself,” to eventually assume he is crazy. Meanwhile, he hooks up with just about every woman and Cylon he meets when he’s not busy trying to save his own life or jailed for treason. Considering how self-involved and nutty he is, it can almost be seen as impressive.
3. Dualla and Apollo
Poor Dee (Kandyse McClure). Her marriage to Lee Adama (aka Apollo) was doomed from the start, and there was little she could do about it due to Lee’s infatuation with Starbuck, which is too bad — she was really good for him! I still don’t really understand why she threw in the towel over a political disagreement, though. Lee seemed to have finally moved past his feelings for Starbuck by then and was taking an interest in a new career. Sure, it would require some change on their part, but what couple fleeing robots in space doesn’t have to deal with such obstacles? But they were clearly just not meant to be.
2. Laura Roslin and Bill Adama
The president (Mary McDonnell) and the commander (Edward James Olmos) of Galactica may have started out butting heads, but these two had the cutest slow-burn romance possibly ever. Sure, they may have made some members of the fleet uncomfortable with their eventual PDA and constantly risking the fate of the human race to save each other, but their story is proof that love is not just for young people, and that it’s not always found/felt the second you meet someone (like Starbuck and Sam’s short-lived, whirlwind marriage). Many love stories, especially when you’re older and are perhaps more guarded, can take a long time to unfold as trust is built. The fact that Laura was dying for most of their relationship only makes it sweeter.
1. Helo and Athena
Yes, Starbuck (Katee Sackhoff) and Apollo (Jamie Bamber) may have had that years-long, drawn-out “will they, won’t they” thing going for them, and had you asked me back in the early 2000s, when I first watched the series, who the best couple was, I’d have picked them without thinking twice. But nearly two decades have passed, and now that I am older and (hopefully) wiser, I have to admit they were terrible for each other. Plus, technically, they were never really a couple.
Karl Agathon (aka Helo, played by Tahmoh Penikett) and Sharon Agathon (aka Athena, played by Grace Park), on the other hand, have one of the only healthy relationships of the entire fleet. Once Helo gets past the fact that she’s a Cylon — which does not take too long, especially after she reveals she’s pregnant when they’re still fighting their way off Caprica — these two were in it for the long haul. They even survive the tragedy of Athena’s supposedly stillborn baby (who she eventually realizes was stolen by the president) and an entire season of being apart when Athena is locked up in the brig.
These two are able to look past their differences (and the fact that one of them is a humanoid robot, with thousands of twins out there in the universe), and make it work no matter what challenges arise. Their relationship also illustrates the human elements that are active within the Cylons, because this Sharon is very different from Boomer and all her other Cylon counterparts. She’s by far the best Sharon. I especially love it when she calls out the other Sharons for being unable to make a decision and stick with it. If she was a human, I’d say it’s a perfect example of overcoming adverse, innate parts of your personality that keep you from being the best person you can be. But that is the beauty of Battlestar Galactica: By the end, it’s nearly impossible to distinguish who is more human, the humans or the robots they created.
So say we all!
